The wild dogs in TTS and campus is a common nuisance.
In Semenyih, due to a variety of reasons there are plenty of stray dogs ravaging the land, while some would prefer them shot and shipped to Korea, there are some who prefers a live and let starve strategy.
No one really knows why the dogs are here, or why they can't be fed. Some argue, its because they are unclean, and a hazard that should be put to sleep.
Dog Population against time at UNMC, as you can see, the dog population grew out of control in 2013. In what became known as "Peak Dog". Many dogs were culled and half as many lost their balls, it is not known if the dog population would ever recover from this tragedy. The first dog wave, was met with stiff resistance, the elite Hundjaeger (dog hunter division) was activated to fight them, and noticeably their numbers reduced. The Second wave was a failure to perform due to animal huggers, whom protested the shootings, sadly the elite Hundjäger could not be used.
Dog Attacks[]
Sometimes the dogs can get territorial with humans encroaching on their land and may resort to violence to protect its rights to piss at particular tree. This is entirely natural and it is only right if you allow nature to take its course.
How to prevent dog attacks[]
Here are few simple steps as to how you should react to these dogs.
- Run! Don't let it catch you.
- Don't stand around waiting, do something, RUN!!!
- Always stare directly into its eyes.
- While it is advisable to carry a stick and swing it if the dog approaches, we suggest using your fist.
- Be calm, do not panic. If you panic the dog will feel your fear and start barking, if so, run to the nearest guard house. You won't survive otherwise.
- If you are in a group, be sure to not be the fastest, if you are, slow down.
Final Solution to the Dog Problem[]
Like clever people we are, a final solution has been drafted to put an end to the Dog problem, to ensure that the human race and not dog gets to rule TTS now and forever.
- Steel cage traps are being laid throughout campus in order to catch the stray dogs.
- Caught dogs are then interned at the Engineering Research Building (ERB) concentration camp.
- Caught dogs are then placed in air-conditioned containers and shipped to Korea.
- It is assumed that the dogs will be given a second chance of a better life in Korea, with the enterprising oven to kitchen table scheme.
Some other Solutions[]
It is rather apparent that the UNMC community hates dogs
UNMC Expressions
“If someone does not do something about the wild dogs of tts5/6, I will personally feed them meat mixed with lots of rat poison. So you dog lovers better bring this matter to attention otherwise there will be 4 […] found soon. Sincerely a fed up student!”
Advice from Mushamir Mustafa
Make some poisoned Ramli burgers and drop it off where the dogs would hang out.
Anonymous
How to kill stray dogs 1. Five-men axe team - led by John Rambo holding Gimli's axe 2. Infected female dog with STD 3. Trap dog and gas them with carbon monoxide 4. Three-men sniper squad 5. The A-Team
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